Do you really respect your need for rest?
Perhaps (like me) you might battle with self-limiting beliefs and guilt around allowing yourself to really slow down and rest?
To work on these limiting beliefs let’s start by ensuring we take a self-compassionate approach to allowing, guilt-free rest into our lives.
Unhelpful learnt anti-rest habits…
Coming from a family with an ‘always on the go’ (ADHD) mum, I never really grew up feeling that rest was valuable or allowed! Like many of us I learned that rest was not cool, it was ok for Grandads or New Year Day, or only permitted perhaps if I had fully ticked off my never ending ‘to do list’, everyday a race against myself, trying to get ahead of time!
Forcing myself to be constantly physically and mentally active, that endless round-a-bout of full speed ahead then became normal. Burning fast at both ends until exhausted I’d simply drop into bed, with a fried but still active mind, insomnia enters and makes itself at home.
The gold standard of behaviour in my family was full speed OR asleep. Never dwelling in that beautiful in-between area where rest lives.
To rest or not to rest
Most of my life and especially when I worked in the design and advertising industry the idea that resting was an actual need and an essential requirement to good health was CRAZY!
Enter mantras like – Work hard, play hard. You snooze you loose.
Dangers of living on full alert!
Chronic stress manifests when you are living each day in a fight or flight state, functioning on ‘FULL ALERT!’ always ready for action!
When you operate constantly in this state your nervous system never trusts that it’s really safe to stop and properly rest, it simply keeps on projecting the feeling that – IT’S NOT SAFE!! That you must keep on doing, keep on running, run away from the perceived danger (your never ending to do list).
Living a life feeling guilty about taking quality rest is very wearing on the body and mind. It leaves you more vulnerable mineral and vitamin deficiency, to chronic irritability, depression and health issues like digestive disorders, IBS, allergies, weakened immune system, constant brain fog and short term memory loss, eczema and can age your skin and cells faster too.
Run Rabbit Run!
Are you the rabbit forever running from that possible fox?
Living like this is only good for survival, it does means you preserve your life in the short term, but in the long term its damaging for health, you are not thriving because you constantly just running on adrenaline and your nerves.
This can result in a generalised feeling of depression or anxiousness, swinging between the two, and you can’t quite put your finger on why you feel like this.
If you never really feel that it’s safe to switch of and rest then you can develop an underlying feeling of urgency a constant ‘I am not enough’, you might never feel settled, retreat into yourself, or be fast to anger, quickly become emotionally overwhelmed, feel mentally overburdened.
Especially if (like me) you are person who habitually says YES to things. It can help to the practice setting better boundaries to yourself time to rest. If saying no is to much of a jump, try swapping the yes for ‘i’ll get back to you soon’.
Feeling guilt around resting can leave you more vulnerable to symptoms of burnt out (adrenal fatigue) ALWAYS feeling tired even after a long sleep, you never ever waking up feeling refreshed. Wishing you could stop, rest and relax but finding it very hard to calm down enough to change down gear, let alone to switch off and have a nourishing sleep.
You don’t need to earn the right to rest,
it’s yours already.
So are you ready to try out guilt free rest?!
I invite you to join me in learning 🙂
Are you ready to feel rested?
Ready to feel refreshed?
Ready to embrace that beautiful in-between full-speed and sleeping area called rest?!
Come, lets step well away from the badge of honor of ‘I am the busiest person here‘ competition and gently ease yourself into being the BOSS of resting.
…Let’s start with a Micro rest!
You might like to start dipping your toe in to rest but introducing the art of ‘micro resting’ throughout your day. Starting micro is the perfect entry point for the rest adverse or rest novice.
Micro-rests are little chances for your over stimulated nervous system to have mini a break – Like taking a moment or two longer to enjoy looking out the window and watching a bird hop about, or taking more time to really enjoy drinking a warming nourishing drink, It could be eating without looking at your phone and away from your PC or TV screen, or stopping to take a deep savoring breath of your favourite essential oils blend. Your mico rest choice can be unique to you.
What inspired me on this enjoyable path to practicing rest was working creating illustrations for Energy Coach Sam, she introduced me to ‘The Seven Types of Rest’ by Saundra Dalton-Smith MD I also love and really enjoyed rest workshops by Nicola Jane Hob – The Relaxed Woman do try her free one they are very inspiring.
Three examples of rest to get started…
• Creative rest – things like cooking, making something, playing music, doodling, knitting
• Mental rest – things like walking or meditation to allow time to clear thoughts
• Physical rest – things like reading, yin yoga, body scanning or napping to connect you back to body
Do let me know how you get on with trying out ‘micro’ rest into your life, I would love to hear your stories and any tips you have.
Typewriter Photo by Suzy Hazelwood – Pexels